Hey everyone! Sorry I have been a bit neglectful, with planning a wedding and Holiday stuff, I have been crazy swamped with numerous projects, but I promise to get all your cute Christmas recipe cards up and running on Monday. How are the recipe cards working 2 to a page? Let me know if you want me to change it back to the old 5X7 way.
Okay this post is more of a vent rather than a tutorial but I have some fun things to post tomorrow, promise :) I often get questions where people ask me "How do you do it all?" The answer is "I don't!" I really don't. No modesty there...I am no Superwoman, Supermom or Superwife for that matter :) I have learned many things from numerous mentors over the years and I have learned that adding a little organization will add some order to the chaos but that it is completely impossible to be everywhere and to do everything at once...and I have also learned that it's okay to not finish things sometimes...as hard as that may be! Trying to be everything to everyone and spreading yourself out so thin just sets yourself up for stress and failure...and who wants to feel like that? I love, love, LOVE being a stay at home mom! Is it hard?? Of course it's hard! Is it worth it?? Of course it's worth it to me, but that doesn't mean that I don't have my moments where I completely meltdown and need a "time out" from the everyday little things that happen around the house. Just last week I completely broke down at the end of the day after my kids were in bed, I started crying and telling my husband that I felt like I had completely failed that day, failed at being a mother, a wife, a daughter and kept saying "why do I always let everyone down?" My husband...if you know my husband he really has a hard time with sensitive subjects ;)...being the greatest guy just put his arm around me and reminded me that I was the only one looking at that day as a failure. He pointed out that Satan's easiest weapon against each of us is to point out our flaws and we, as women, fall so easily into that trap of using that as a burden against us. I realized that what he said is true and thought over that day and realized that there were so many amazing highlights of that day! Things I overlooked because I was too busy worrying about what I "didn't do" and what I believed I had "failed" at. Little things like playing "monster tag" with my kids, play dough at the counter, taking my kids to the library and so many more! I then felt the need to thank my Heavenly Father for all that I had and realized that it far out-weighed all the things I didn't accomplish for that day.
I also did a "refresher" course on all the great advice I have received over the years. The most recent being from a Kids Behavior Specialist who had been working with Dominic to help him walk. She is such an amazing woman and I learned so much from her in the short amount of time that she was here. The biggest thing I can pass on is she taught me the meaning of the phrase "Does it really matter all that much?" This has helped me tremendously with dealing with my kids and myself as well! Each day our kids have the opportunity to make choices, our whole lives are based upon choices. As a mom I feel that I am constantly on the lookout for my children, as I'm sure you do to. I can't even count the times I say "No, no" or "Please don't do that" etc...This also goes for me as far as feeling like I haven't accomplished something or feeling frustrated with someone...that I need to just stop and reflect before I take action and ask myself "Does it really matter all that much?" It's not always easy to do but it has helped me to feel so much more relaxed with my decisions. For instance, if my kids are dumping out every single toy in the house..."Does it really matter all that much?" No not really, however if I told them to clean it all up and chose to be frustrated then we would miss out on a fun day of creativity and learning! Like I said, it's not always easy to do, and there are just days when things like that don't work, however toys can always be cleaned up but unfortunately that moment can't be recreated.
I have a child who is definitely a little crazy and rowdy! I love her spunky personality and all the fun things she says but she also is the one to test my patience. She really knows how to push my buttons. I really have made it a point not to yell at my kids but she is the one that always gets me right to that point. The thing I forget sometimes is that she is never intentionally trying to do something bad...sometimes kids make mistakes, just like me :) I get so frustrated at her that I discipline her unfairly sometimes. Overwhelmed by it all, I felt the need to tell my kids "I love you" before I started to take action on the crime...taking those 2 seconds to tell them I love them really reminded me that even though I am angry, I love them so much and I need to discipline out of love rather than anger and just sending them to "time out" without any explanation.
Lastly I learned (from a wise old man :) ) that kids need to be told "why" they can't do something. If you just tell them no, then it is harder for them to understand than if you explain to them the reason behind your decision. It helps them to grasp the concept. "No you cannot stick your toothbrush in the toilet because it has oodles of germs and will make you sick" is easier for them to accept than if you just tell to not stick it in the toilet (and yes I really did have to say that to my child...she has this crazy obsession with toilets :).) It definitely also gives me a good perspective on why I am telling them no in the first place.
See, I told you I needed to rant :) I am no expert in parenting, at all, and in no way have professional advice for anyone because I seriously feel that more often than not, I have no idea what I'm doing :) This post was actually more for me than I am sure it was for anyone else! I will however tell you, don't compare yourself to others! It's easier said than done, but there is always someone who is going to be more accomplished or less accomplished...we all work at our own pace and have different talents and those are all unfair comparisons. You have to give yourself credit and remember that you are doing your best! Don't try to change everything all at once or do everything by yourself because then you end up getting nothing done at all :)
I hope you all are enjoying your holidays so far and having a relatively stress-free time! I have some fun DIY projects and recipes coming up that I will post soon :) Definitely try out the Barbecue Chicken Salad if you haven't yet, so yummy! Enjoy!
- Kristin
